eggplant

Eggplant, eggplant, egg-plant, egg-plant?

What kind of bird would ever lay that?

squash

Funny shape, sort of flat,

I guess that’s why they called you that.

pea

The lovely moon wished to be

One in a pod, a sister-pea.

(for Frederico Garcia Lorca, who wrote that the Earth was an orange, and that the moon wanted to be one too.) 

chili pepper

The hotter the better.

That’s the whole point of the chili pepper.

black-eyed pea

Hey pea, what happened to your eye?

“Don’t worry ‘bout me.  You should see the other guy.”

coconut

You stare at me, as if to stammer,

“What are you doing with that hammer?”

garlic

Vampires don’t like garlic. But it’s not because of the smell.

It’s the pallid and papery skin. Reminds them of their vampire selves.

pumpkin

Said Michaelangelo at Halloween,

“I saw the monster in the pumpkin, and carved until I set him free.”

garbanzo bean

You're named after Uncle Garbanzo. It's a wonderful name.

But your friends all call you chickpea. It seems like such a shame.

Broccoli

Being a giant, eating a tree.

That’s what I love about broccoli.

red cabbage

I hope you don’t mind,

The guy who named you was colorblind.

cucumber

When someone’s calm, they´re cool as you,

When you’re calm, you´re cool as who?

cauliflower

I gave her a flower, asked her to stay,

I should have bought a caulibouquet.

brussels sprout

They don’t like you. They don’t try to.

They don’t know you the way that I do.

Carrot

Hi there friend. Nice carrot.

Want to share it?

Artichoke

Your best part

is your heart.

Leek

Spring is here! The birds have sung,

The sprouts have sprouted, the leeks have sprung.

Lettuce

The lettuce. Brown.

Let us down.

Yam

Hey, you yam?

I am.